wooooow

so here's something for you to laugh at if you think that way.

some guys that's staying with my dad for the weekend happened to meet a 'friend' alright. they end up having fun time in the bathroom that happens to be across the hall from the room I'm staying in. I never knew how annoying having sex sounded...


yeat another reason to be abstinent.

I swear everyday gives me another reason for abstinence.

mental breakdown?

I had a dream last night where the only thing that didn't make sense was the fact that they kept the children in the building. like five buildings where on fire. A bunch of students where there and where talking like nothing was happening. I had a mental breakdown and started crying. the fire hadn't even reached the building we where in. but everyone was there. I couldn't believe it. after a while I was pissed! I scream 'SHUT UP! WHAT THE FREAK IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!!' they laughed. but went silent...



I wouldn't cry over death. especially by fire. that happens to people all the time. there's no sense crying over natures process, especially when you're saved. I even woke up crying over this... how could this hit me so hard?

kelsey briggs smith

visit kelseyspurpose.com

she lived from 2002 to 2005

her father was active duty in Iraq.
her mother was dating a man.
she was sent to her grandmother's house but frequently visited her mother's.
while in her mother's care kelsey broke both legs.
the judge sent her back to her motehr's
a few days before her father came back from war she was kicked hard in teh stomach.
her fatehr did not have a happy homecoming.
Kelsey's purpose was to help raise awareness for child abuse.
she now has a law in her name.

April 18th is Kelsey Day.

JOurnal?

yet another day passes me by
I can't seem to imagine why
this life is strange
yet completely obvious
iF ONLY, oH IF ONLY
i COULD LEARN HER WAYS.
Destiny
A thing of hte past and of the future.
a thing of both mortality and fantasy
A thing of entertainment
a tool of fear and desire.

those who wish to minupulate her o
ften find tehmselves in quite a tango
once they let go
but can youhold on forever?
can you find you way home?

of corse you can.
she makes it so,
if you're willing to learn
If you're willing to listen
you can't beat her
you can't love her
you can't hate her

for all she is
is a figment created by man
trying to understand God's plan
with out having faith

LIfe...

I feel as though life has lost its meaning.
all these petty fights and arguments I have are meaningless.
The fights I have I can't win, the one's I can, I let stay as they are.
I'm tired of trying to be perfect.
I'm tired of trying to be innocent.
I'm going to do it my way, and I'm gonna have some fun.
I'm taking control of my life, I'm taking control of my relationships.
I'm sitting here at like 2-3 in the morning and making some stunning realizations...
I've had this song stuck in my head all evening, and keep thinking about last nights sermon. It was beautiful, and wish I had a recording of it.

really?... REALLY???

If you think I can't handle life, then leave me alone.
If you think you could do my life better, I'd like to see you try.
If you think I'm stupid, think again.
If you think I don't hear what your saying, then listen to me.
If you think I'm a bitch, then move on with your life.
If you think I need you, then go fuck yourself!
If you think I care in the least what you think of me, get over yourself!

here's some news for you,
My life is where I want it, and I can make it the way I want it.
You don't know my life so get off my back.
I am a whole hell of a lot smarter than I look.
If you don't listen to me, I wont listen to you.
I act the way I want, to tell me who I can trust and who's not worth my time.
I don't need anyone, all I need is my muse, and my god.
I don't need your opinion, and when I wan tit, I'll let you know.

so get over yourselfp, get off my back, and let me live the way I want to! I don't need another mother, God gave me one, and that's all I need! I'm a big girl! I can handle myself! If I screw up then its something I!!! have to live with, NOT YOU! I know what I'm doing, I can make my own choices. If you don't trust me, then don't talk to me.

life is troublesome

my favorite lie yet is ' I do listen to you'

well either you don't do it well or you don't care.

'no I care, atleast I read the messages'

not thoroughly, or you wouldn't be in this situation.

'well you've just changed thats all'

yes I have and I'm NOT going back! I know how I was. I don't like that person, so I'm not going back! those are the sluts that go and ruin their life, then go complain about nothing, for no reason, and I'm tired of being that way. I had someone show me my imperfections, and I fixed the ones I could. and I'm not about to undo everything. no matter what you say, you wont change the facts.

then from another end ' you're not a slut, your just a teenage girl'

oh yeah? then how come I've only met two people who really even talk that way??? how come I've only herd how stupid I am for my past doings? how come my own mother calls me a slut?


JUST SHUT UP GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND LISTEN TO ME, UN BIAS-LY!!!
forget yourself for a minute, as you talk to me. truly listen to what I'm saying. think about what you're saying.

go in a dark room, without music (unless it's fu Elise) and think.) don't fill your mind with past experiences. think about what I'm saying....

but then, if it takes doing that for my words to sink in, then I don't need you.
If I have to yell and scream and leave you for you to listen to me once, then go back to the way things where, then I don't need you. I don't, all it does is cause stress in my life.


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I483tB12SyE