cry me a river

I cry myself to sleep
every night the same routine
I choke back tears
and stay unseen
I believe in everything I do
Why do I even try
I trust everything I say
Knowing that wont break

cut me deep cut me close
close my eye and throw back me head
a pain so real a want so keen
I need to fly
a way to sleep
swallow another pill
close you're mouth
take a breath and jump

bestest friend

Dear Arm,
thanks for all your support over the years.
when i hurt you hurt,
when someone pissed me off you broke their nose,
you wiped away my tears.
you bleed when i felt lonely.
when i wanted to let go you held on just long enough to fall.
when i couldn't get a guy, you helped me out.
when life was passing me buy you sat up and drug me out side.

ILOVEYOU!


~~~~ truly yours
~~~~~~~~~~~~ lost and now distant little girl <3

Skinny girls

i'm so fucking tired of all these guys saying your fat unless your ribs are showing.
fuck that!
I say its hot if you can look good being a size 8-10.
fuck being skinny it sucks
cuz no matter how much you try to look fat you always get
"your such a slut"
"do you ever eat?"
"god, you must anorexic"
"why the hell do you always starve yourself?"
but then a good looking women gets called fat because she's not as skinny as these "anorexic" chicks.
i'm so damn tired of it. pick one you damn hypocrit.

*^*Complaining Warning!!!!!!*^*

Since when did my mother gets so freaking needy?
Since when do I need to do everything perfectly?
Since when do you care who comes to church?
Since when do you care about anything that happens in my life?

When did you first stop caring?
Whne did you first become uncomfortable?
When did you decide I wasn't good enough.

Please explain to me this:

Why is it so important that I'm what YOU want?
Why is it so important that you get what YOU want?
What make you so freaking special?
What happens when I fight back?
What happens when you run out of lies?
What happens when you miss out on life while trying to change mine?


I may be a bitch, I may not be popular, I may be lonely, But I have the truth.
I know who will and will not be there.
I know who will keep my secrets.
I know who trusts me.
I know who I need to stay away from.
I learn it again everyday,
over and over the same way.
I miss my old life,
I miss my old ways,
But then again,
it was all fake.

What if you don't care?

If I where to die:

Would you regret something you've said?
Would you try to apologize for something you've done?
Would you notice my absence?
Would you remember my face?
Would you know what killed me?
Would you come to my funeral?

Would you shed a tear for me?
Would you know how I felt about you?
Would you know my favorite colour?
Would you understand why I do what I do?
Would you care about me?
would you care in the slightest?

huge question for my non existent followers.

should I type up my stories? and the answer to that rhetorical question is... should yes. the answer to that implied question 'should I post them as well'... hmmm. lets go with no. I'll take another account and do my story posting... anyway.

I can't believe that I actually take the time to think through my conversation with an un existing audience... I laugh at my sheer ignorant bliss online.

as I go off to make another false account for all my stories... I wonder if I'll get publlished. well now I am just pathetic getting my hopes up for something stupid like that! I should stop before my imaginary friends start calling me names.

good-bye cruel world! I'm melting! melting! melting!!!

P.S. (go to the site below.)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OYws8biwOYc

wooooow

so here's something for you to laugh at if you think that way.

some guys that's staying with my dad for the weekend happened to meet a 'friend' alright. they end up having fun time in the bathroom that happens to be across the hall from the room I'm staying in. I never knew how annoying having sex sounded...


yeat another reason to be abstinent.

I swear everyday gives me another reason for abstinence.