I'm in dire agony!!!!
This is flat out silly!!!
HE treats me like shit!
He's mad at me!
He flirts with other girls!
he's just a complete ass!!!!
yet i swoon when i see his picture or remember his voice or the way he looks or that childish gleam he get's when he knows he's upset me. my heart sinks every time i realize he doesn't care. It's not fair! I don't need this! I'm not old enough to deal with his silly games! I don't need this at all...
But how can i let go when he holds me so tightly?
when he hugs me now I have to force myself to let go. his hugs hold more meaning now, and they are more affectionate but his words and actions are worse. how can you love someone when they don't love you back?
I want to take the theory from practical magic. I never want to fall in love so i may never die of a broken heart!
but that wish is one full of sin! For god made us to fall in love and replenish the earth with another generation.
If I am patient god will do his work on my life and send my beloved to rescue me. who knows, maybe he already has ;)
my heart xis weak and easily won. I want to wait this out to find myself once more. my love is meak and unwanted right now. I shall wait another week out to find myself, if she continues ont her way without me i shall make myself anew.
